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Pablo Escobar's hippos keep multiplying and Colombia...
3 years, 4 months Pablo Escobar's hippos

Fishing villages, small boats and children at play dot the landscape along the shallow waterways of Colombia's...

Fishing villages, small boats and children at play dot the landscape along the shallow waterways of Colombia's Magdalena River. But an invasive species left behind by one of the country's most infamous figures is threatening the ecosystem and, possibly, a way of life.

That species? Hippos. The giants, native only to Africa, are now running wild in Colombia, reports CBS News' Manuel Bojorquez. The story of Colombia's hippos starts in Villa Napoles, the former estate of Pablo Escobar, who in his heyday had four hippos smuggled there for his private zoo. Escobar's ranch housed hundreds of exotic animals including rhinos, elephants and giraffes. By the 1980s, his cocaine empire made him the wealthiest and most feared drug lord in the world. For Colombia, it was a reign of terror. He's said to be responsible for some 7,000 deaths.

Around the time Escobar met his death in the early 90s, the government relocated most of the animals but not the hippos who were basically allowed to roam free. "People forgot the hippos," said biologist David Echeverri, who works with CORNARE, the environmental agency in charge of tracking and managing the hippos in the region. He estimates there are about 50 or more of them now.

The area where they roam is a paradise for the animals who have no predators and ample food and water. But they're getting too close to people. It's not uncommon to spot a three-ton hippo walking around town. Locals call them the "village pets," but Echeverri said the "dangerous" and "territorial" species is anything but. In Africa, hippos cause more human deaths than any other large animal. So far, there are no known attacks in Colombia.

The majority of the hippos still live inside Escobar's former estate, which was turned into a theme park in 2007, but the issue is that they can't keep them contained. Some have been able to get out which is how they are turning up in other areas. Oberdan Martinez runs a theme park there, where the hippos are a main attraction. According to Martinez, Colombia's the only place you'll see a pack of hippos in the wild outside of Africa. He also said it's more common to see a hippo in that area than a pig.

There's concern the hippos have already started to displace native wildlife, like the manatee, and keep getting too close for comfort. In the past year, fisherman Pablo Jose Mejia has come across five hippos that ventured outside of the theme park. But he said they're like dogs – if you know how to deal with them, you'll be fine.

But Echeverri fears, with an ever-growing hippo population, it's only a matter of time until someone gets hurt and killing the animals has proven highly unpopular. "We can't just kill the hippos and the other solution is relocating hippos, sterilizing hippos," Echeverri said, although he acknowledged that would be an expensive and dangerous process. With limited funds, it's a solution unlikely to stem the tide on a legacy that just keeps resurfacing. 

 

Source: CBS

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Two Florida Men Charged With Trying To Get An Alligator...
3 years, 5 months Get An Alligator Drunk

Two Florida men have been arrested after they allegedly captured an alligator by the side of a road before holding it...

Two Florida men have been arrested after they allegedly captured an alligator by the side of a road before holding it down and trying to get it drunk by pouring beer down its throat.

Remember the game where you search 'Florida man' and then the date of your birth? Well, if you were born on 26 August, you've got a belter here.

Twenty-seven-year-old Timothy Kepke and 22-year-old Noah Osborne are reported to have filmed themselves during the incident, which occurred by the roadside in Palm City, Florida, on the aforementioned date.

In the police report, Kepke told of how his mate grabbed the unsuspecting reptile with his bare hands after spotting it by the side of the highway.

Kepke claims to have been bitten on the arm by the animal before he tried to force feed it a can of beer. It's not clear whether he sustained any injuries from the bite, or how large the alligator was.

Both men were arrested on 3 October, once the cops became aware that a video existed showing the pair during the incident.

Can't stress this enough, guys. If you're going to commit a crime - and preferably don't - make sure you don't actually film yourself committing said crime.

It's really, really thick.

Perhaps unfortunately for the rest of us, the video hasn't been released by the police. It also isn't clear whether or not the video circulated before the pair were eventually brought in.

They've both been charged with 'taking an alligator' unlawfully.

We shouldn't live in a world where that is an acceptable crime.

Also, is there a way to 'take' an alligator lawfully?

So many questions...

A complaint was received by the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission back in August.

The New York Post reported that authorities investigating were able to get their hands on the video and confront Kepke at his home on 17 September. He then confessed that he'd played a part in the incident.

The pair did eventually release the animal alive, he added.

As you can imagine, the pair had consumed a couple of beers already that evening, although Kepke also said that they weren't drunk.

A woman was also present at the time, although she said that she had thought the alligator bit Osborne because he was being hostile to it.

Kepke and Osborne were taken to Martin County Jail and released after they posted bail bonds of $5,000 and $2,500 respectively.

 

 

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It could've been worse.
4 years, 1 month It could've been worse.

James is walking on a downtown street one day, and he happens to see his old high school friend, Harry, a little ways...

James is walking on a downtown street one day, and he happens to see his old high school friend, Harry, a little ways up ahead. "Harry, Harry, how are you?" he greets his old buddy after getting his attention.

"Not so good," says Harry.

"Why, what happened?" James queries.

"Well," Harry says, "I just went bankrupt and I've still got to feed my family. I don't know what I'm going to do."

"Could have been worse," James replies calmly. "Could have been worse."

A month or so later, James again encounters Harry, in a restaurant. "And how are things now?" he asks.

"Terrible!" says Harry. "Our house burned down last night."

"Could have been worse," says James, again with total aplomb, and goes about his business.


A month later, James runs into Harry a third time. "Well, how goes it?" he inquires.

"Oh!" says Harry. "Things just get worse and worse. It's one tragedy after another! Now my wife has left me!"

Harry nods his head and gives his usual optimistic-seeming little smile, accompanied by his usual words: "Could've been worse."

This time, Harry grabs James by the shoulders. "Wait a minute!" he says. "I'm not gonna let you off so easy this time. Three times in the past few months we've run into one another, and every time I've told you the latest disaster in my life. Every time you say the same thing: 'Could have been worse.' This time, for God's sake, Harry, I want you to tell me: how in Heaven's name could it have been any worse?"

James looks at Harry with the same little wisp of a smile. "Could have been worse," he says. "Could have happened to me."

 

Source: ranker

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A man goes into a bar
4 years, 1 month A man goes into a bar

A man goes into a bar, he sits down and see's a monkey in a cage behind the bar. He asks the bartender what the monkey...

A man goes into a bar, he sits down and see's a monkey in a cage behind the bar. He asks the bartender what the monkey was for. The bartender says, "Here I'll show you!", he proceeds to let the monkey out and whack it with a stick on the head. The monkey proceeds to unzip the bartenders pants and gives him a bj. Looking at the man's astounded face he asks him, "You wanna try?" The man replies, "Sure, but don't hit me too hard."

 

Source: reddit

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Indecent Proposal
4 years, 1 month Indecent Proposal

So a man asked a woman " I'll pay you a million dollars to sleep with me" she said "yes" the man then asked "what can...

So a man asked a woman " I'll pay you a million dollars to sleep with me" she said "yes" the man then asked "what can I get for a dollar?" She said "what kinda person do you think I am?" The man replied "that's already been determined. I'm negotiating."

 

Source: kindafunnyforums

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Gorilla in the Zoo
4 years, 1 month Gorilla in the Zoo

A gorilla dies of old age at a zoo right before the zoo opens. It is the only gorilla at the zoo since they are not...

A gorilla dies of old age at a zoo right before the zoo opens. It is the only gorilla at the zoo since they are not very profitable.

However, the gorilla is their most popular attraction by far, and they cannot afford to go a day without it. So the zoo owner asks one of his workers to wear a gorilla suit they have in storage for an extra $100 a day if he will go in the gorilla cage and pretend to be the gorilla until the zoo can afford a new one.

Quickly, the new "gorilla" becomes the most popular craze at the zoo. People from all over are coming to see the "Human-like" gorilla.

About a month in, the craze has started to wear off. So, to get peoples' attention back, he decides to climb over his enclosure and hang from the net ceiling above the lions den next to him. A large crowd of people gather watching the spectacle in awe and terror. Suddenly the man loses his grip and falls to the floor of the lion's den. The man starts screaming "HELP!! HELP!!!" Suddenly a lion pounces him from behind and whispers in his ear, "Shut the fuck up right now or you're going to get us both fired."

 

Source: kickasshumor

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